Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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