xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
