If i come over, it means nothing
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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