i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
