he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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