Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
