It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
did you just send me my own nude
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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