Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
