TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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