is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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