i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
