it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do vagina's smell?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
