some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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