When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
