ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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