Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
