Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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