i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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