On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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