I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
