Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
