Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
