I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
