john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
