So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
