I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
