How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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