I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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