Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
