With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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