sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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