Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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