i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
