I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
