Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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