I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
