weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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