If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
