Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
