he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
