Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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