so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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