just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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