hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
