Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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