I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
