I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Say something about gay babies.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
