let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
