it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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