Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
