someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
